Mothers told to beat gloom by not fussing

The months of September and October mark the beginning of the school year and a peak period for working mothers who suffer from depression.

Experts of the E-Motion Alliance, who were speaking on the eve of World Mental Health Day, said the academic performance of children is a key factor leading to deteriorating behavior among mothers.

“They tend to focus too much on their children’s studies. They fret about how their children will adapt to the new school environment and stay ahead of schoolmates given the intense competition,” psychiatrist Dominic Lee Tak-shing said yesterday.

“According to traditional family-oriented values, a working mother wants to maintain the image of a perfect wife and mother at home while working like a superwoman outside. This inside- outside pressure results in dismay,” Lee added.

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Mikie Wong, who began suffering from depression after having a child 11 years ago, used to work as a secretary but found it difficult to focus after becoming a mother.

Wong, 45, ignored her prolonged symptoms for two years until she developed suicidal thoughts and wanted to die with her daughter in late 2003.

Though she consulted a psychiatrist she did not take her medicines regularly for close to six months.

In 2004, Wong overdosed on sleeping pills due to SARS and the sudden death of Cantopop superstar Leslie Cheung Kwok-wing.

“I even quit my job when my daughter turned six. I was extremely paranoid about her growth and wondered if she would be able to study at a top primary school. Fatigue and serious insomnia trapped me in a dark hole. Depression was suffocating me,” she said.

Lee said many mothers define happiness based on academic performance and blame themselves when children do not meet their expectations.

Lee Antoinette-Marie, specialist consultant in psychology at the Hong Kong Primary Care Foundation, said psychotherapy is aimed at altering negative patterns of thought and behavior and replacing distorted thinking with more realistic and rational ideas.

All in all, Lee suggested: “Mothers should not make a fuss about everything and put less attention on children.”

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